The Girl’s Girl Series: Issue I: How to Be a Girl's Girl When the World Wants Women Competing

As a self-proclaimed Girl's Girl, no one can tell me women aren’t the best creation God made (and equally, cats). Just take a moment to think about it. Imagine you are having the worst day, and there isn’t a friend there to remind you that your ex isn’t worth your tears, or a sister to help you style your hair before a job interview, or a maternal figure inviting you over for comfort food, or a gym buddy encouraging you to keep going. We wouldn’t survive without each other’s support, and yet, we live in a world that tries to convince us we need to compete against one another to succeed.

I REJECT THAT PATRIARCHAL MINDSET AND EMBRACE MY LIFE AS A FOREVER AND PROUD GIRL'S GIRL.

I’ve mentioned it twice now, and three times if we include my alluring title (hey, it worked; you’re still reading), but what exactly is a Girl's Girl? You may have been misled into thinking that being a Girl's Girl requires wearing bright colours and picnic dresses, attending feminist marches every weekend, pretending to love your best friend more than your boyfriend, or avoiding friendships with men—but luckily, all these are misconceptions.

It’s quite simple, really; a Girl's Girl is someone who uses their feminine energy to uplift, support, and empower another person. And the best part is that this power is already within you and is completely free to use.

Before I get ahead of myself, let’s take a step back and return to the beginning: with our mothers.

Girl's Girl Mothers

In the 1850’s, Harriet Tubman repeatedly risked her life to help enslaved people rather than focusing solely on securing her own freedom. But she didn’t stop there; she advocated for women's voting rights, arguing that Black women deserved political freedom too. Her legacy carved a path of courage that lifts entire communities and reminds us of the power and kindness within ourselves. The compassion she shared continues to surround us, strengthen us, and call us forward. 

In the early 1900s, not only did the Suffragettes change the law, allowing women to vote in Britain, but they also supported each other throughout the struggle. They looked out for women who were arrested, raised money for legal costs, and held lectures for women who had little access to education. It was a collaborative effort that wouldn't have succeeded without mutual empowerment and support. They taught us the importance of solidarity and sisterhood, rejecting competition and individualism.

Then, in the 1920s, a new way to empower and uplift women emerged. Mexican painter Frida Kahlo portrayed women’s bodies in her paintings, exploring themes of menstruation, pregnancy, disability, sexuality, and other topics that were considered taboo to discuss publicly. She prioritised self-expression by rejecting conventional beauty standards, encouraging women to be themselves and to embrace their complete and true self; a legacy that continues to resonate today.

Then came the shoulder pads and perms of the 1980s. Princess Diana is iconic for a reason, and there’s nothing more iconic than changing a negative perception by using kindness. She was known for publicly hugging people with HIV/AIDS to reduce fear and stigma and for supporting organisations that helped women affected by domestic abuse. But one of her most significant and sometimes overlooked impacts was her demonstration that women could have identities beyond marriage. She didn't allow a very public and humiliating divorce to make women fear life without a man, and her graceful defiance remains encouraging today.

We have thousands of beautiful and glorious mothers; Aletta Jacobs (first female doctor in the Netherlands, founding the world’s first birth control clinic), Ruth Bader Ginsburg (U.S. Supreme Court Justice, cofounder of the ACLU Women’s Rights Project), Nawal El Saadawi (Legendary Egyptian feminist writer and activist), Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti (Nigerian women’s rights activist, educator, and anticolonial leader), Wangari Maathai (Kenyan Nobel Peace laureate, founder of the Green Belt Movement, championed womenled reforestation), Maya Angelou (BlackAmerican poet exploring racism, identity, and resilience), Savitribai Phule (Indian social reformer and pioneer of women’s rights, who campaigned against child marriage), and Sojourner Truth (American abolitionist and first Black woman to win a lawsuit against a white man). These women, along with thousands more, all embodied female solidarity and compassion. They showed what female support looks like on a grand scale. Girl's Girl energy is in our bones, spirit, and in the roots our mothers planted.

Girl's Girl Sisters

There are so many inspired by those who came before us, carrying the torch of feminine energy into the present. The contemporary Girl's Girl culture is thriving, and it's our responsibility to continue that legacy. I call them my sisters because, like sisters, they are there to constantly remind me that being a Girl’s Girl is forever wonderful and uplifting.

Actress and activist, Jameela Jamil uses her voice to challenge beauty standards and founded the I Weigh movement in 2018. This initiative encourages women to see their worth beyond body image, shifting focus from weight to personal value. I wish I had this podcast when I was fifteen and was worried about my wobbly arms and olive complexion (the nineties-to-noughties were rough). Be inspired to embrace your true self by listening to her discussions with other women about their experiences on Jameela Jamil - YouTube. 

Feminist icon and activist, Gisele Pelicot, changed the narrative by stating ‘shame has to change sides’ when she waived her right to anonymity and insisted on a public trial against her husband last year. Her decision to speak publicly about sexual violence has reshaped the conversation not only in France but globally.  It has challenged the misogynistic shame culture surrounding survivors and encouraged greater scrutiny of how society responds, supports, and believes those who come forward. Her courageous stand encourages women to be strong in the face of adversity, writing all about it in her memoir, A Hymn to Life. Her bravery will be written in history books as one of the most significant Girl's Girl moves of all time. Checkmate, misogynistic shame!

Award-winning feminist, Eliza Hatch, founder of Cheer Up Luv, is dedicated to dismantling misogyny and sexism. Cheer Up Luv influences and empowers the younger demographic to understand the law and their rights. The content is relevant, accessible, and aligned with how people consume information today. One of my favourite things she does is rewrite newspaper articles to highlight how damaging and anti-women they can be.  Eliza strikes the balance between powerful messaging and engaging content, all while wearing the cutest outfits—and we love her for it!

There are thousands of Girl’s Girl sisters who use their feminine energy in different ways to empower and protect us. Their dedication to change is inspiring and essential, and without it we are no better off than the generations of women who had to survive without rights, protection, or sisterhood. Nimco Ali OBE is a British-Somali social activist who dedicates her career to ending female genital mutilation. Laura Coryton MBE is a British campaigner who successfully abolished the UK’s tampon tax in 2021. Actress and activist Jane Fonda was arrested five times in 2019 while protesting for climate change, standing defiantly in defence of Mother Nature. Singer Nicola Roberts helped launch the political campaign that led to a ban on under-18s from using tanning salons in England and Wales. Beloved actress Emma Watson continues to change the narrative of feminism by encouraging us to fight for equality, rather than hate men. Gina Martin is a British women’s rights activist whose case made upskirting illegal in England and Wales, and who rejected her OBE due to her stance on the violence and oppression of the British Empire.

 The list is endless, from Nadia Murad, Aneeta Prem, Amika George, Ms Rachel, The Spice Girls, V (formerly Eve Ensler), and the late Sareeta Domingo, each offering their love and defiance to the beautiful sisterhood that keeps women safe, seen, and connected.

And that leads me back to where I started. At the heart of every Girl's Girl moment lies a core principle: using our feminine energy to uplift, support, and empower one another. There is nothing more powerful than women coming together, especially when no one else does. It is our responsibility to create safe spaces and opportunities for each other. This is the world we are leaving for our little sisters, nieces, and daughters.  The late Sareeta Domingo is a prime example of someone who made it her responsibility to actively amplify women’s voices in Literature, setting off ripples that grew into something bigger than herself. Through her advocacy and her editorial leadership, she carved out space for women of colour whose voices have been underrepresented, and her legacy is already shaping the path for the next generation of writers. Sareeta Domingo | Hachette UK

But Sisters Argue All the Time?

It’s important to mention here that another misconception of being a Girl’s Girl is that you must support every woman, no matter what, and therefore should not criticise another person. But do you remember when your big sister told you off for doing that dumb thing, and you learned that valuable lesson? Or when your best friend called you out for saying the wrong thing? It’s impossible to get it right all the time, and it’s important to remember that empowerment can sometimes come after correction. 

Let’s take Irish actress Saoirse Ronan, who on The Graham Norton Show delivered one of the most polite and impactful modern Girl’s Girl moments in recent years. She corrected and, in doing so, educated a group of older male guests about the everyday realities of women’s safety. This sparked conversations worldwide and prompted news outlets to discuss gender imbalance and the lack of awareness.

How about four-time gold medalist sprinter Amy Hunt, who openly criticised Sydney Sweeney’s nude sports advertisement for sexualising women’s sport, arguing that kind of portrayal misrepresents what female athletes actually look like and gives people a false impression of the hard work behind women’s athleticism. She channelled her Girl’s Girl energy to protect and educate people by speaking up, even when it meant disagreeing publicly. For Hunt, challenging misleading representations isn’t about conflict; it’s about responsibility.

It’s not about shaming, it’s about educating and moving forward. You can be a Girl’s Girl and have boundaries, disagree with women, and call out bad behaviour.

 Girl's Girl Friends

My examples so far have been media-based, listing famous people and their wonderful contributions. But being a Girl's Girl doesn’t require a platform, movement, public recognition, fame, or a feminist podcast. It’s woven into the daily choices we make because it exists within us; always has and always will.

My favourite category is Girl’s Girl friends, and that’s because that is who I am. And who you are. And even though you don’t know me personally, we are connected by our Girl’s Girl energy and our shared drive to build a harmonious, safe, gender-equal world. But we can’t just say what we want; we need action and manifestation.

We are currently living in a culture where misogyny is increasingly visible online, where there are scarcity narratives teaching women that there isn’t room for everyone to succeed, that not everyone can be the ‘pretty one’ or the ‘smart one’, a culture where women who say, “I’m not like other girls” are praised, making competition feel like the only option.

Unrealistic and unattainable beauty standards pit women against each other, pushing us to compete for proximity to them. Misogynistic cultures benefit when women are divided because it is easier for patriarchal norms to remain unchallenged. When we don’t work as a collective, we become isolated and outnumbered, making it easier to manipulate, silence, and blame women. I REJECT THAT PATRIARCHAL PROPAGANDA, AND I VOW TO BE THE BEST GIRL’S GIRL FRIEND I CAN BE.

 When women support one another, share knowledge, and refuse to participate in comparison culture, we are better able to advocate for equal treatment, accurate representation, and safe spaces. So, let’s be there for one another: holding hands while we block toxic friends or holding her gaze in a crowded tube when she needs silent reassurance. Remember that time you handed a girl in the cubicle next to you a spare tampon or toilet tissue? Or when you offered to spot her at the gym when she went up a weight? Or when you saw a girl alone and didn’t leave until you knew she was safe? How about jotting down the date of your friend’s next therapy session and sending her a supportive "you-got-this" on the morning of? Little gestures matter—signing a petition, sending pictures of your cat to a friend overwhelmed with her law assignment, taking accountability, calling someone out who is spreading misinformation, encouraging your sister to pursue her creative dreams, changing your word choice to make it more inclusive, or complimenting a stranger on their blue eyeshadow. From helping someone cross the road, to calling out the negativity on SkinnyTok, to sharing where you found that cute dress, we can uplift each other without comparison or competition.

Be inspired by our Girl's Girl mothers, sisters, and friends, who embody kindness, helpfulness, and defiance. This powerful connection is part of our history, our culture, and our collective identity. Women have always looked out for one another and reclaiming that truth today is both empowering and necessary. As my therapist, Julie, told me, “We are light in human form.” I truly believe that every woman has the power to be that light, radiating warmth and guiding those around her to brighter places.  

I’m that girl from Mean Girls who wants to bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles, so everyone can eat and be happy. But the difference between her and me is that I won’t be told I don’t belong here, because I do, and so do you. And together we can have our cake AND eat it.